Actively bringing about much needed change in our communities and hope to the broken and disheartened.
For the most part I’d say I sound pretty angry when I write. My mom asked me the other week if I only write when I’m frustrated…and I said yes! If you’ve read any of my posts up to this point, you’d probably agree, they are generally angry. I use swear words to communicate anger quite often in my posts, and typically end up writing negative things about Church or theology or God or whatever. Negativity has been the name of the game.
But no more.
I am in the midst of re-reading Velvet Elvis and Rob Bell talks about questioning faith and theology as an essential part of deepening faith and our understanding of who God is. That God is bigger than our questions and can handle them – and God actually wants us to be questioning stuff.
Rob talks about how too often we view Christianity as a bunch of doctrines that we need to ascribe to and not as an experience with God in which we come to better appreciate who he is and his love for us.
I think I get so angry because I’ve always thought I had to prove to everybody that I’m not afraid and I am going to question “basic” beliefs of Christian thought and I was not going to apologize for doing it. I envisioned lots of backlash and reprimand from people I love and respect, so instead of getting hurt, I just get angry and write with the attitude of “Screw you, church! You can’t tell me what to think!” and that somehow helps me stand up for myself I guess.
But I came to the realization today after finishing Love Wins this week and starting Velvet Elvis, that it’s ok to question.
It’s ok to doubt.
It’s ok to feel vulnerable and it’s ok to not find the answers.
In fact, it’s not just ok, it’s good for me.
I have resolved to no longer use Dishwashers as a place where I stand on my soapbox and complain about stuff. Rather – I’d like to use it now as a place where I can competently raise the questions that bother me. Not angrily. And not with the intent of having pastor so-and-so explain to me the orthodox Christian view of a particular question, because chances are, I’m questioning it because I disagree with the orthodox Christian view of things.
So maybe now we can all engage in questions together from a standpoint of changing the way God is seen in today’s culture. Maybe we can start a revolution of the mind and let it transform the way we do church, experience each other, worship God, engage with God, and interact with the world around us. It doesn’t have to come from a place of anger and disgust with the way things are now. It can come with an attitude of wanting things to be better, and being willing to be the ones to change it.
So let’s change the tune. Maybe we’re going from angry hardcore music to something else. Suggestions?