Actively bringing about much needed change in our communities and hope to the broken and disheartened.
This is a response to “5 Really Bad Reasons to Leave Your Church”
5 Really Bad Reasons
1.) “Not being fed”
Don’t ever let a pastor off the hook for passing off as “teaching” what you can find in the notes of a teen life application study bible. Yes, learn on your own – be proactive – but don’t let a pastor off easy in this area. Teaching should be a priority, preparation and content should reflect the fact that it is a priority.
2.) “It’s getting too big”
The dynamics of any organization change when it grows and more than that, often times the philosophies driving an organization change when it decides growth for the sake of growth is the ultimate goal. You’re allowed to leave. If the shift is so significant that you don’t recognize the church anymore, don’t feel guilty for leaving. The church decided to leave where it used to be, you can do the same.
3.) “I don’t agree with everything that is being preached.”
If you have real disagreements over what is being taught from the pulpit, you have discussed them with leadership, you have researched your opinions vs the ones being taught with an open mind, and there is no way around these issues – feel free to leave. It’s okay.
4.) “My needs aren’t being met.”
The current church culture that has been crafted across the US by one trend after another has resulted in churches that have more options than McDonalds when it comes to “your needs”. The church has positioned itself as an organization that wants to meet your needs. Want your kids to play sports, we offer that, want to meet your friends for a cup of coffee, we offer that, want to gather with a bunch of other women to do crafts, we offer that.
For an organization like the church that has been branding itself for decades around the idea that you can come to them and have your needs met – to turn around and say – “you can’t leave if your needs aren’t being met” is the hight of hypocrisy.
5.) “Unresolved conflict.”
If you have tried, like an adult, to resolve a conflict with someone at your church, and it cannot be resolved, it could be a reason to leave. If the conflict effects your ability to participate and contribute in the ways that you would like to at your church, feel free to leave.
If you decide, for whatever reason, that you need to change churches – you can do that. There are lots of legitimate reasons for you to make that choice. It shouldn’t be made lightly, particularly if you have been a contributing member of a congregation for a long time. You should pray about it, and do whatever it is that you feel God would have you do.
In any of these situation discussed here you should always approach them as someone who is willing to contribute to a solution, communicate your concerns like an adult, and listen with an open mind to the responses.
Pastors, don’t use the authority inherent with your position to guilt people into staying at your church, no matter how subtle you think you’re being. It’s petty. You don’t know definitively that it is God’s will for a particular individual to be at your church. Don’t act like you do.